A Fishing Trip

March 21, 1985.

8:00PM

TODAY WAS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE!!!!

Dad finally got the time to take me fishing!

We set out really early, even Mom wasn't awake yet. Dad made sandwiches. I packed all the fishing gear and stuff. We drove for about 4 hours till we were really far from the city. Then after an exit, we drove through the pothole filled country road. We stopped near a field and dad said we had to hike. So, we hiked for 2 hours till we finally reached our spot, a vast, beautiful lake that stretched further than the eye could see, surrounded by hills and mangroves and contained about every kind of freshwater fish species. Dad kept this small boat tied to the pier, which we used whenever we came here. I'm not trying to boast, but though it took longer than usual, today's was the best catch that we ever had!

We returned home with our bounty and were excited to see the look on Mom's face, instead, she was all teary, her face full of worry. We sat her down, gave her a glass of water and when we thought she had calmed down, I showed her the pictures we took during the trip. But she caught me by the shoulders and shouted, "Sammy, please! Listen to me. Don't make this any harder on yourself!" I still don't know what she's talking about. I think she's losing her mind. Dad's really worried. But he's been very busy with his work lately and hardly comes home. And when he does, Mom doesn't want to talk to him. It's been like this for a while now, a year and a half to be exact. Mom's always very sad and moody, even when me and Dad try to cheer her up. People keep visiting our house when Dad's away.

I hope everything's okay between my Mom and Dad. And. And I really hope people stop saying that my Dad's dead. I hope that they stop telling me to let go.

A.N.   There were page long descriptions of their fishing trips in the diary and stuck to one of the pages was an old faded photograph dated March 21 ,1985, of Sammy holding a giant fish in one hand and the other hand wrapping around thin air.

The Silent Guardian

Darkness, My Old Friend,

How long has it been,

Since you've accepted me as your own?

How long has it been,

Since you've let me embrace your dark powers?

Its true that I owe my life to you,

It's true that you're my strongest ally,

For Many a times have you aided my escape,

Many a times have you let me dodge my fate.

They tend to fear me because they naturally fear you,

For my name has become synonymous with your own.

But I feel that my affiliation with you has begun to take it's toll,

For there are times that I've felt my skin burn in the sunlight,

There have been days that I've spent loathing the daylight.

Is it just an illusion? Or am I turning into a creature of the dark?

Some say that I'm a monster, a being from the void,

An entity without a conscience,

A creature without a soul.

But for some, I'm a saviour, a

Samaritan who doesnot wish to be named,

A force of darkness, that cannot be tamed.

They say that I'm bulletproof, manipulating the shadows and vanishing into the night.

As they struggle to hold their nerves, with all their might.

But little do they know about the powers of the darkness,

Little do they know about the evil that lurks.

For it was the darkness that gave birth to my vengeance,

And it was darkness itself that has assisted my cause.

And as long as I have even a single living breath left in me,

I will fight.

I will fight for justice, I will fight for the weak and I will fight for the oppressed.

But do not expect a guardian angel or a knight in shining armor, for my methods are ruthless.

I am the watchful eye of the night, the judge not bound by any laws,

I'm the silent guardian, the unprejudiced protector, the nightmare of the evil heart.

I don't care if you're immortal, invincible or even omnipotent,

If you hold evil intentions against the people I protect, Do Beware,

For I am the Dark Knight, I am Batman.

Hey Girl

Hey Girl, talk to me.

It's ok if you shout, curse or despise,

It's ok if you say I'm stupid and unwise.

It's ok if you think I'm boring and uncanny,

It's ok of you say my jokes aren't so funny.

As long as you're the one speaking,

I think I can take the beating.

So don't be so quiet,

Everything's gonna be alright.

Hey Girl, talk to me.

It's been a few days since that fight,

I plead for a chance to make it right.

A hundred different ways that night could have gone,

I knew you were angry, but all you managed was a frown.

Every molecule of my body yearns your presence,

But without you, my love, my soul has no essence.

There's a hole in my heart that's ready to open,

My demons that were dormant, their chains now broken.

We talked for hours about how we'd grow old together,

Fate had other plans, as my life now hangs by a tether.

So talk to me, My Love,

Before I get the 'call' from above.

This maybe my last autumn evening,

Let your presence give it some meaning,

Hey Girl, talk to me.

An Engineer's Day

Early to bed, Early to rise,

Is one of the problems that arise.

Too much work to be done before bed,

So we decide to do it later instead.

Getting up in the morning is such a pain,

And after getting up I wonder, "What do we gain?"

While the others try their best to hurry up,

We are pretty busy trying not to giddy up!

Sometimes it takes eons waiting for the train,

But otherwise, we gotta run till our ankles sprain.

We get chilled to our bones while standing in the rain,

Too little reward do we get, for going through such pain.

Our day is an excellent epitome,

Of people spending so much time out, that it becomes their second home.

There may be hundreds of people buying clothes at the store,

But if you spot someone dozing off in line, it's one of us for sure!

Dozens of assignments to complete before the dead-line,

But even though we've completed nothing, we say everything's fine.

Make hay while the sun shines, they say,

But it's not an option for us, because, such is the engineer's day!

Till 'Death' Do Us Part....

I like Sunsets. I like the color, the texture they give the sky. So serene. So peaceful.

The more I explore, the more I realize how beautiful this world is.

I saw her again today, as I stood near the coffee house. She looked beautiful as ever, with her golden hair, natural blush, those mesmerizing eyes and that smile, Oh, I would give anything,everything, for that smile. Sarah smiled as she walked past me and I went into a trance as her scent reminded me of a field of irises. I was tempted to call her, talk to her, but I never will, as I knew I couldn't get too attached. I followed her casually, as she met up with her friends but instead of going out for a fun night, they volunteered at the nearby retirement home. It was here that I first saw her, taking care of the old, making them laugh and singing to them. She had the most amazing voice. It could calm even the most ravenous of monsters, it could baptise you, rid you of all your sins. The thought gave me hope, but, I was too stained to be cleansed now.

I donot regret the things that I've done. I did what I had to and if I started to regret, I fear may start to lose my sanity. I keep my distance from people, never interacting and always observing in silence. I've learnt to be invisible in a crowd, undetectable like a ghost, though I doubt even ghosts can completely blend without leaving behind a physical footprint. My job makes me do things that most people wouldn't understand and I've come across people of near about every type. Some make you want to gut them alive, while there are few like Sarah, who bring joy to even a person devoid of a soul, like myself. My entire life I've never been afraid, nor of God or the Devil. I've laid havoc without a second thought. But now I fear that my feelings for Sarah might bring her harm.

I strolled through the lobby, looking at the elderly, watching them cheer up the moment they saw her. Was this sorcery? Or just her aura, I cannot decide. Then she saw me, I don't know how, I don't know why, but I couldn't hide anymore. She walked towards me, paralyzing me with her smile. It was impossible, but it seemed she saw through my pain as her eyes softened as she asked me my name. I hesitated but said,"Azrael". "Well that's a pretty unusual name! Would you like to join us?",she said. Maybe I was silent for too long, or maybe I had subconciously said "YES" because she then ushered me to the dining table, where people were getting ready for supper. "Everyone, this is..uh..Oz" she said looking at me with a mischievous smile. "Like the Wizard?" someone asked. "Yeah exactly like the wizard, Alan" Sarah replied. "Enough of that, let's eat!". I had never felt so welcome, so warm in a long, long time.

After supper, I wanted to quietly leave, but Sarah refused to leave my side. And as her friends left, she turned to me and said,"I need someone to walk me home!". "But I'm a complete stranger. How can you trust me?",I replied. "No, you're not a stranger. You work at the coffee house, right?", she said. My eyes widened as I realized that all this time, I was never invisible, not to Sarah. We walked down the empty streets in the cold, dark night, as she told to me about her day, her life and her dreams and it felt like she wanted me to open up too. Time passed by too quick and we reached her place, without me saying a word. "Sorry for the trouble! And thanks!" she said. I nodded, "Good Night". "Good Night, Oz". I watched as she climbed the stairs to her apartment, and just before entering, she turned and shouted,"I'll see you around, right?" All I could manage was a smile. Why was it so hard? Why did it take such an effort to smile? Maybe it was because of the realization that I could never be with her, that maybe, I never will see her again, because it was against the laws of nature.

I can't be with you Sarah, my love, because my presence will corrupt you. I can't be with you, because, I'm something that you should stay away from. I'm called by many names, Azrael being one of them. Some call me Samael, Mors, Orcus, The Grim Reaper. I can't be with you, Sarah, because the moment you're with me, you seize to exist. For I am what humans fear, I am the final destination, I AM......Death.